A New Way of Thinking

Have you ever noticed how our culture is very stuff-driven? There are pockets of people who go against the norm (I’m looking at you, minimalists!), but for the most part we are a consumer culture.

Even the language we use — “binge-watch” for example. We like to have what we want when we want it and in large quantities. I wonder how much of that is related to our desire to appear to have a certain status? How many of your decisions, if you were reeaaaaaaally honest had at least a little something to do with how it made you appear to others? I know I get this way, especially with what I wear and how I’m almost always on the hunt for a specific type of garment or accessory to add to my wardrobe. We all want to appear likable and put-together.

What if what we’re really craving is acceptance that leads to connection? I mean, if I post a pic of my new shoes on Instagram, people will tell me how cute they are and I’ll feel a little endorphin rush. But is that really connecting?

What about the car you drive? What went into the decision to purchase it? How much of it was simply because it looks cool? Which in turn, makes you look cool. Or successful. Or whatever. Does it afford you some type of status you wouldn’t otherwise have?

One more question. How much of what we acquire is because we see others with it first? Ouch. Again, I’m guilty of this. If someone can look or seem a certain way because of something they own, well, by golly I want to own it too, so that I can also look or seem that way.

Let me just go ahead and admit to you that I’m a natural spender. (Thankfully my hubby is a natural saver, so we balance each other out in that way.) But seriously. If I had free reign, I would go all too crazy. And I did when I got my first job in high school because I didn’t have any bills to pay yet.

Where am I going with this? Well, I wonder what it would look like if we just decided that as of this moment, I have everything I need? What if I didn’t buy a single other article of clothing? What if, instead of buying books I want to read, I just went to the library? What if I was just… content?

The fact of the matter is that we’re way more concerned with how we think people will perceive us than people actually are. This is a scientific fact! Most people don’t notice your bad hair day. Why? Because they’re concerned with the same thing — how they appear to everyone around them.

So what if we all just quit caring so much how other people will perceive us??! They don’t care half as much as you do. If we stop letting our perception of others’ perceptions of us rule our lives then we would have a lot more breathing room in our budgets and our lives.

More room to get out of debt and get after our financial goals. More room in our houses because we just don’t have as much stuff. More room in our relationships because we could focus on connecting over things that are more important than where we got our jeans or what types of cars we drive.

I know this is counter-cultural because it’s contrary to our nature to think that we have to be impressive in front of other people. But we really don’t. And I think if we realized that, we would all feel way more free to just do us in our own lives.